Our time spent with the shadow is just as important and necessary as our time spent in the light. Grief is sneaky and comes in waves out of nowhere and everywhere. Sometimes I don't even know what I'm grieving. Is it the obvious loss of my Dad and coping with years of let downs and abandonment, is it the heartbreak from my first boyfriend who left for college and triggered my fear of being abandoned all over again? Is it the image still ingrained in my mind of walking in on the man I loved sleeping with another woman? Is it memories I can't get out of my head of being shamed over and over again for being myself...by someone I loved so much? In the yoga community, especially here on social media platforms it is easy to get caught up in the how we "should" be living. There is something unauthentic about being constantly ecstatic all the time. Today, I feel depressed. So I'm allowing myself to go there. Writing is a way I process these emotions. I'm putting my personal stuff out in the open because maybe you feel like this sometimes too, and that's okay. Nothing is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with having a big heart and hurting so intensely because that means you have the capacity to love as deep as the deepest ocean.
And that is worth living for ✨